A lot has been going on in my mind lately that I can only describe as “chatter” in my brain. I’ve been feeling this pull to stay away from distractions online for the past couple of days, so I’m finally listening to that part of my brain and working on not looking at my phone constantly, or always having (non-work) chat programs open at work and home. I removed the immediate shortcuts to Instagram and Discord, which were the two programs I went to instantly to fill the void.
I already feel better. I let myself *feel* my feelings, and then I think, without distracting myself to avoid the thoughts. I pay attention to what’s going on around my in real life. I look at people’s faces; pay attention to everyones actions. I journal (almost) daily now and write my thoughts down to get them out of my head. I did a small vlog this morning on my phone. I don’t know if I’ll ever upload it, or start vlogging consistently, but I’m trying it out and feel slightly more comfortable in front of a camera even since I started streaming. I also took a break from streaming. I haven’t felt like gaming or being “on”, so I’m listening to my body. I’m reading again.
I’m going to focus on finding my creativity again and finding my way back to myself. Rebuilding.
One day at a time. Slow progress.